Are You “Wildflower Dating” or “Snowmanning” God?

As I talk to singles today, I often wish for a slang dictionary to keep up with their descriptions of our contemporary dating culture. Regardless of age, terms such as pocketing, cookie-jarring, ghosting, breadcrumbing, and stashing describe behaviors littering the dating landscape. I described these in a previous blog post and noted how those same pitfalls have a way of creeping into not just earthly relationships, but also our relationship with Jesus.

Now I’ve learned of two new terms to add to the list: wildflowering and snowmanning. Seriously? If you’re like me, you may be wondering how wildflowers and snowmen relate to dating. Even stranger, how might they be associated with our relationship to Christ? Are we dating God?

Wildflowering

Wildflowering describes a relaxed approach to dating, allowing relationships to grow at their own pace. No pressure, no timelines, no goals. Going with the flow without intentionality. This may sound harmless and perhaps even positive, but is it really?

Applied to our relationship with God, wildflowering sounds good at first. After all, doesn’t the Bible tell us God is the one in control, not us? Still, the result in our spiritual life can be similar to what happens when we plant a garden, then walk away. Just let it grow naturally, without weeding or watering. Whatever happens, happens. Yet the outcome is often far from desirable. Weeds sprout, taking over the garden. Plants wilt from lack of consistent watering. Soil becomes dry and packed, inhospitable to growth.

While the Bible is clear that God is in control, His Word also establishes clear responsibilities on our part in cultivating our relationship with Him. We can be intentional in our love, obedience, and worship, even as we continue to trust God’s sovereignty.

My times of greatest spiritual growth come when I prioritize loving the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength (Mk. 12:30-31). And Jesus said that if we love Him, we will obey Him (Jn. 14:15). The apostle Paul reminds us to be intentional about our thought life, taking our thoughts captive to that obedience (2 Cor. 10:5). He also tells us what we should focus our thoughts on (Phil 4:8).

Snowmanning

Snowmanning is often a theme of Hallmark-type Christmas romantic comedy (rom-com) movies. A single girl and guy agree to pretend to date each other through the winter or the holiday season. A fake partner during the Christmas season puts a stop to nagging relatives eager to help by arranging disastrous blind dates. Then, come January, after everyone returns to their non-holiday routines, the phony relationship is supposed to end. Of course, in a rom-com, the couple realizes they’re actually in love, and everyone lives happily ever after.

What does snowmanning look like in relationships with God? It could show up in the life of a Chreaster: someone who attends church only at Christmas and Easter, then disappears until the next major holiday. Or Christians who make New Year’s resolutions in January, vowing to be more intentional about reading and studying the Bible and going to church, only to stop as cold winter days shift to longer, warm days beckoning us to jump into summer activities. For myself, I know that I am most diligent to stay in God’s Word while I teach a Bible study from September through April. Without the accountability of a formal Bible study during the summer months, it’s easy for me to become distracted as the weather brightens and outdoor activities multiply to fill my days.

Pocketing, cookie-jarring, ghosting, breadcrumbing, stashing, and now wildflowering and snowmanning. Which of these are you vulnerable to?