Calling Out the Ugly

Ugliness surrounds us. As much as we’d like to, we can’t escape it. The apostle Paul called Satan “the prince of the power of the air” (Eph. 2:2). As we look around, the evidence is overwhelming. Of course, if we could escape the ugliness out there, we’d still have a problem. Even if we found an uninhabited, tropical island, we still couldn’t escape ugliness. And while I have no qualms about calling out the ugly in others, I’m not as eager to call out the ugly in me.

I came face to face with my own ugly last week. And it grieved my heart because I knew it grieved God’s heart.

Difficult circumstances have come in waves over the years. Situations beyond my control. The loss of my husband of 4 decades to terminal cancer. My own surgeries (6 in 11 months!). More recently, selling my home of 25 years and downsizing to an apartment. And after 40 years of having “fur-baby” family members enthusiastically greet me when I came home, rooms are now silent.

Yet none of those major situations unleashed the ugly impatience I experienced when new impact windows were installed last week. A two-day job, they said. A minor blip compared to all those other life experiences. My impatience overflowed as the work proceeded at a slow, yet painfully loud, pace.

They completed the job within three days. Three days, and then I’d be blessed with high-impact hurricane windows. A mere drop in the bucket of time. But instead of focusing on the resulting benefit, I silently fumed over the noise level that required me to wear earplugs. I rolled my eyes at the dirt tracked in by the workers. And I sighed when they said they ran out of caulk and would have to return a third day to finish the work. So much for the two-day assurance.

That’s when the conviction hit me, as the saying goes, “right between the eyes.” When I looked in the mirror and sensed the Lord calling out the ugly . . . in me.

In my quiet time, the Lord reminded me for the umpteenth time of His own patience with me. He reminded me to view the individual workers from His perspective. And He reminded me to look past the temporary inconvenience and look forward to the beautiful views the new windows would allow.

Jesus said, “Do to others as you would have them do to you” (Mt. 7:12). And the apostle Paul wrote, “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer” (Phil 2:2). I’m so thankful our heavenly Father is the God of second and third and tenth chances. Because I need every one of them . . . and more.

The new windows allow me to see outside more clearly. Even better is my fresh view of myself from God’s perspective as He reveals and cleanses my “ugly.” So grateful for His patience and grace!

How about you? How have you been disappointed in your own reactions this week?
How did the Holy Spirit meet you in that moment?