Author Ava Pennington
Author Ava Pennington

This was supposed to be such a productive week. My to-do list for spring break was filled with all the little projects I haven’t gotten to since Christmas break.

That was the plan.

Reality was a bit different. I haven’t been this sick in more than thirty years. Not a cold. Not even a run-of-the-mill flu. Nope. This was a full-blown, head-spinning, in-bed-for-two-straight-days version of the flu. I’m sitting at the computer now because I could not bear to stay in bed for One. More. Minute.

Of course, with this much extra time (between naps) I began to consider the whole issue of control. I had everything planned out, but to paraphrase Robert Burns, the best-laid plans of mice and men (and Ava) often go awry.

Control. It’s what we want the most but have the least. I’ve heard it said the first sin was the sin of pride. I wouldn’t be surprised. Because the whole issue of control ties back to pride, doesn’t it?

Control tells the world I am important.

Control says my agenda reigns supreme.

Control ensures that my convenience is prioritized.


But, as God keeps teaching me (yes, I’m a slow learner), I was never really in control. What I had was the illusion of control.

He is God, I am not.

He is sovereign, I am not.

He is in control, I am not.

This illness took me by surprise. But it was not a surprise to the One I belong to. And while I would rather not experience it again, I’m grateful for the reminders it brought.

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