“You’ve changed.” The words may be spoken with disappointment or regret. After decades of marriage, one party confronts the other. Change is often the reason for the end of the relationship. “You’re not the same person I married.”

Today is my wedding anniversary. Thirty-six years ago, I said “I do” (or was it “I will”?) to the same man I’m married to today. But I’m not the same woman.

Some changes were unplanned. Gray hairs are sprinkled among the brown and I’m carrying a few more pounds than I did three decades ago. I graduated with a master’s degree in management, but no longer work in the corporate world.

Other changes are intentional. I’ve learned the give and take of relationships—especially in marriage. To listen more and speak less. To value people more than things. To put the preferences of my husband ahead of my own.

And I’ve developed in my faith as a Christian. Discovered the gifts and abilities I’ve been given and learned how to use them. Studied God’s Word and shared what I’ve learned. Writing. Teaching. Stepping out of my comfort zone in ways I could never have imagined thirty-six years ago.

I’m not the person I was. Thankfully, neither is my husband. He has been there every step of this journey. My strongest supporter and greatest cheerleader. He didn’t marry a writer. He didn’t marry a teacher. But that’s who I am today. When I left the corporate world, I gave up more than status, travel, and other perks. I left behind a significant salary, too.

But instead of dwelling on the past, he focuses on the present and the future. When I’m discouraged, he’s the one who reminds me that God is in control. When things are going well, he thanks the Lord with me for being the source of success.

I’ve changed. So has my husband. And I’m glad. Now I wonder what changes the next thirty-six years will bring. 

What about you? Are you the same person you were thirty years ago, ten years ago, or even last week?