Is it Easier to Give or Receive Love?

A conversation with a friend sparked this question. In her daily quiet time a few years ago, she had asked God to show her how to give absolute love. Aware of the many ways the Lord has lavished His love on her, she wanted to be better at lavishing love on others.

An Unexpected Perspective

God answered her prayer, yet not at all in the way she expected.

He showed her what absolute love from one person to another looked like, but from the perspective of a receiver instead of a giver. Diagnosed with breast cancer at the time, she instantly went from being one who came alongside others to being one for whom others came alongside.

Humbling? Yes. But over a period of many months, also a clear picture of God’s absolute love displayed to her through those around her.

Fast-forward to this past summer. The last few months have been especially difficult as I shifted from being someone who offers help to someone who needed help . . . a lot.

First, a hip replacement surgery briefly sidelined me. While my recovery was “slow and steady,” what I really wanted was “fast and ready.” Then, after fully recovering from the hip replacement, I underwent surgery to remove a cancerous thyroid. And there I was, once again managing impatient expectations.

In full transparency, a major reason for my desire to recover quickly is that I hated being a burden. Many people brought me meals, drove me to physician and physical therapy appointments, and ran all sorts of miscellaneous errands for me.

You see, like my friend, I had also wanted to be better at lavishing love on others. What did that look like and how could I do it better? And just like for my friend, God answered my prayer, but not quite the way I expected. He showed me what it looked like by placing me on the receiving end of extravagant love.

Receiving or Earning Absolute Love?

Maybe you haven’t needed that lesson. But how many of us struggle with receiving God’s absolute love? Jesus purchased and freely—lavishly—offers us a love resulting in our eternal salvation. And yet, so many people are stuck because they feel they have to earn what is freely offered. They’re stuck with the notion that they have to contribute something.

Why is it so difficult to accept a love offered with no strings attached? Is it pride? Cynicism? Maybe it’s the feeling that unconditional love belongs in the realm of fairy tales, and we’re too old to believe in those anymore.

But God’s unconditional love is not a fairy tale. It’s real—as real as the cruel execution Jesus experienced to pay for the sin that separated us from our heavenly Father. A payment we could never have accomplished regardless of how hard we tried.

And even if people accept the gift of salvation, many Christians spend the rest of their lives trying to prove to God that He made the right choice in saving them. Christians who get stuck in a rut of obligations and duties because “those are the things good Christians are supposed to do.” They forget that the love that restored them to the Father is the same love that keeps them safe in that relationship. That living the Christian life is motivated, not by obligation and duty, but by love and overflowing gratitude.

So as we move into the Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations of November and December, allow the Father’s love to wash over you anew. An unconditional love freely offered that saves you through Jesus Christ and holds you by His Holy Spirit.

An extravagant love freely offered that will never let you go.

Is it easier for you to give or receive unconditional love?